The Journey to Becoming a Whole Human Starts with These Steps
By, Emma Pautler
Have you spent this time in quarantine reflecting on your own personal and professional journey? Have you come to the realization that you are longing to do more with your life? If so that’s a good spot to be. You are positioned for your next evolution, and ready to become a whole human.
In this interview, Monique Helstrom shares the steps to becoming what she calls a “whole human.” Becoming a “whole human” is the process of growing and changing internally so that you develop the skill sets you need for the next level. Monique says the process is “uncomfortable, a bit of a struggle, but nonetheless it's for growth and to make you a better human.”
Watch the full interview with Monique here, or read the summary below.
Monique worked for Simon Sinek for a decade before going through her own personal transformation that brought her to where she is today -- a speaker, coach, and founder of The Whole Human.
“I very much changed my life, not only my career but I changed very much who I was as a being.”
She realized that the only part of herself she was taking care of was her “work self.” She had buried herself in her work and realized this way of life was no longer healthy.
“I was speeding down the highway at 150 miles with only one good tire, that was not sustainable.”
This major realization launched her on a journey of self-discovery. She started to really take time to evaluate what was missing in her life. She focused on feeding those needs, whether they were needs of the mind, spirit, or body. She dived into professional, personal, spiritual, mediums including acupuncture, meditation, and mindfulness until she found out what worked for her.
As she started to become whole again, she realized that there are other people walking around broken, empty, and unwhole. She decided to learn how to help them become whole too.
If you find yourself in that same spot Monique was a year ago, here are the steps you can take to fill in your holes and become a whole human.
START WITH THE BASICS
To become a better person, Monique says you have to take it one notch at a time. It’s all about becoming whole and filling in the gaps. The educated mind, the well-fed body, and cultivated spirit are three areas to focus on.
“You are at the center of all of this. If you’re not taking care of your vessel, there is no amount of work, education, college that’s going to get you to where you need to go.”
Monique says that it’s as basic as eating well, sleeping well, and drinking lots of water, “it's amazing, if you feed yourself the right stuff, your body will give it back to you, your brain will give it back to you.”
After you fill in your basic physical needs, it’s time to go deeper. Monique says, “you have to know who you are first, and why you want to do what you want to do.”
Ask yourself, “what is my life’s work?” Once you know that, then you can evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, and learn how to use your strengths as an advantage, and fill in the gaps on your personal weakness.
These two steps -- filling in your basic needs and learning your life’s purpose will get you closer to becoming a whole human. Then you can conquer your next evolution. It will be very difficult to move forward if you don’t take the time to work through this now.
Monique describes it as if you are preparing to climb a mountain. If you’re going to take a long hike up a mountain, you would pack a backpack full of supplies. You would pack food and water, you’d put on the right hiking shoes. If you don’t prepare first, you won't have the supplies “in your backpack” to get up to the top and will die along the way.
“First take care of yourself. Make sure you are a whole human. Then look at the mountain, and stay focused on the goal of climbing to the top. As long as you stay focused on what you need to do and why you need to do it, you will be able to reach the top."
ASK FOR HELP
As Monique transitioned to being a part of Simon Sinek’s organization, to launching her own company, she learned a very valuable lesson: to lead an organization and be a member of one are two different things.
She could no longer rely on her own subject matter experience, she had to focus on leading a team.
“If you’re starting your business, and have people working for you. Your job is not to do things, it's to take care of the people who are doing those things.”
So she had to learn how to rely on her team more, bounce ideas off them and most importantly -- ask for help.
“I wasn’t comfortable with this in the beginning. I associated asking for help with weakness. Now that I know it is an unbelievable strength, it’s something we should all learn how to do.”
You may need help becoming whole. Monique says, “I’m a huge fan of mentors, coaches, and therapists -- someone to support you and tell you what you need to hear when you need to hear it.”
When it comes to your weaknesses, don’t be afraid to reach out to subject matter experts for help. As Simon Sinek says, “I wish I knew that I didn't need to know everything, be everything.”
BREAK UP THE PATTERNS THAT AREN’T SERVING YOU
Think about the patterns and behaviors that aren’t serving you. In order to get to the next evolution, you have to get rid of them.
Henry Ford says “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Some people call this the “definition of insanity,” when you do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
Monique describes it as “ramming your head in the wall over and over.” There are certain triggers that keep happening, whether at work or in your personal life, that you keep battling. The same issues keep coming up over and over.
The only way to stop the pattern is to take a step back and go macro with yourself. You need a wider lens to see what’s really happening and identify the pattern.
Once you know the pattern, you have to literally do something to interrupt it in the moment. Monique uses Chris Wightwick’s approach, which is basically to “get up and dance” when you find your thoughts going down a rabbit hole. You could also use a word picture or do a visualization exercise to snap you out of the negative cycle.
MAKE THE DECISION TO MOVE ON
If you value your reinvention, you will commit to it and make time and space for it. You may find yourself staring up at the mountain, wondering if you can really climb it.
It’s not a matter of “if,” it’s just a simple choice. You have to choose to climb. Choose to do the hard work of filling in your basic needs. Choose to ask for help. Choose to break up the patterns and modify your behavior. It’s literally just a choice. Your next evolution is waiting for you at the top.
For more information about Monique Helstrom and becoming a whole human, visit her website here, or find her on Facebook or Instagram.